Thursday, September 29, 2011

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Question by Rgd Gdrg: How hard would it be for me to get a girl? I don't really have any confidence?

How much of a difference would having confidence make? I feel like it wouldn'nt make a difference and girls will still judge me

I'm the nicest sweetest guy, but girls always look at me and give a look that shows that they wonder why I walk like that. How am I suppose to not be nervous, and think they want to get close to me or at least be friends, personality wise, I am too good for the girls that never looked through that flaw, but how do I find a girl when i'm scared and have teh mindset that most girls won't look past it. first impression matters, so I have a bad first impression in a way, how do i move on?

I have a leg problem, which when I walk I limp a decent amount, so sometimes people look at me and prob wonder why I walk like that. A lot of girls I talk to say "you're so nice" "generous" and things like that. I think I have an amazing personality, compared to most guys, but I feel that girls won't like me for the way that I walk. I'm in college at some crazy public school, and never met girls like this, everyone seems all drama and just sex on looks. I have gotten compliments on my looks from girls saying i'm cute, and I don't think they are just trying to be nice, since i heard it a lot. I just feel sort of depressed and a lack of motivation since it feels like no one will love me for who I am. it seems that it is all about "first impression". I'm now nervous when i'm near cute girls since i get thee feeling they will think i'm weird. ugh idk, :/

All i have is anxiety that no one will like me for who i am:/ like i'm soo real, nice and generous! I drive a 50 grand car in colkege and dont take it thst im acting snobby, but that walking problem is the only problem i have, like i'm from a very wealthy, strong religious family too! I just need someone to offer what i have to offer but this stupid big limp makes me look so weird and i always have in my mind 24/7 that "who wants to be with a disabled" i really dont know if it's anxiety or reality right now

Like everyone tells me about hooking up with hot girls and just having a fun time at parties, i mean i was never really into that stuff, since i'm more into personality, but after hearing it everyday, i really feel like im missing out, and i worry that girls will judge me even if i go to a party

Keep in mind that it's college, most people want sex, high ego e.c.t, and i am verry very insecure about it
And im really sensitive so when i get hurt i keep it inside me

I'm studying engineering, and soon it's going to take over my life, like soo much studying everyday, the first year is not bad. like idk what to do, I want some one to look past my flaws :/

Plus this close friend that i chill with everyday, the only girl, is very shallow and judgemental. Now i have the nature that most girls are like this. And i just moved on from trying today.




Best answer:

Answer by RJ
"it feels like no one will love me for who I am" -- do you u love urself for who u r? sounds like u r judging urself a lot -- good at this, not good at that, so on... that seems like a lot of mental pressure right there... also being focused on urself too much detracts from paying attention to others... go do smth where there r no expectations of you to be this way or that way--like volunteer w/animals or kids may be, do some artwork, theater (role playing wld be perfect to release those pent up emotions!)... just do smth different to get ur mind flow more at peace...

"im really sensitive so when i get hurt i keep it inside me"--hmm... if u don't open up, others will sense it & close-off also or will push to try to break thru--neither is too much fun... try finding creative outlets for your emotions--definitely don't hold them inside for too long--it'll be like poisoning urself from the inside...

Lastly, look for girls in places u haven't tried before.. why keep doing what hasn't worked? think out-of-the box!

A girl who is Pisces, Virgo, Scorpio or Cancer wld probably a good fit for you... just guessing :) go find one! :)) they r typically into Psychology, nursing, health, religion/spirituality--may be volunteer to be a Psych study subject? tutor math to ppl from those majors? attend seminars on related topics? just some ideas... good luck!





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